Are You Talking Yourself Out of Success?

At some point every one of us has a dream or a goal that we are super excited about, but somehow it just fades away while our daily existence takes over. Maybe you wanted to live a healthier lifestyle or start a new business…but what happens? First of all, many of us fail to set REAL goals. Saying that you really should start working out or really should create that business plan is just telling your brain that it’s not a priority – it’s a maybe. It may or it may not happen. We fail to create a real vision for what we want in our lives that excites us, and in the meantime we find all of the reasons why things probably¬†wont work. So the question is, are you talking yourself out of success?

Talking yourself into failure

The language that we use to speak to ourselves will dictate what our brain believes, which is why the most important skill for success is communicating with yourself in a positive way. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-doubt, where we question if we’re good enough to reach our goals. These false beliefs become limitations, since they make us unable to have the 100% certainty that we’re able to achieve our goals – and that is the key ingredient to really making sh*t happen. Remember, when you’re setting goals, you always have to overestimate your abilities. You have to have absolute faith in yourself and the total expectation that you can create anything you want, even if it doesn’t seem completely realistic. As soon as that fear sets in, forget it – you will never be able to create the emotional leverage you need to make your goals a reality, because you’ve already told your brain that there’s a decent chance that it won’t happen anyway. That’s when you just settle for the easy route, for the comfortable path, and the one that brings us zero fulfillment.

self communication success

How you describe challenges

Most people who fail at something are simply asking themselves the wrong questions when challenges arise. Asking yourself, “why can’t I ever succeed?” will likely result in an answer like “Because you’re not good enough”, or point to all of the obstacles in the way. Instead, you need to be asking “how can I use this challenge?”. Whatever you ask yourself is what you will end up focusing on, and that focus will ultimately dictate how you feel. What serves you more – feeling like a failure, or someone who is ready to handle any situation life throws at them? One big thing that Tony Robbins teaches is that successful people ask themselves better questions, and therefore they get better, more empowering answers. When you are faced with a challenge, remember that the best question you can ask yourself is “How can I use this?”, because the focus now becomes solving the problem and moving forward. Achievers rarely see a problem as permanent, where those who fail see the smallest issue as a block to their results… and therefore they never achieve them.

talking yourself out of success

Be your biggest fan

That tingling fear that you don’t know exactly how to reach your goals and make them a reality is capable of paralyzing you from making the decisions necessary to achieve your dreams. Remember that you don’t need to know initially exactly how you’re going to create the results, because the most important factor is creating the belief that you will absolutely, without a doubt have what you want. As soon as you fully commit to making something happen, the “how” always seems to reveal itself. If you read Think and Grow Rich, you’ll know all about this – but the common factor in all hugely successful people is that they envisioned how it was going to feel to attain what they wanted most, and they took the time to truly feel it every day. Our brains can’t tell the difference between something we’ve vividly imagined and something that has been actually experienced, which is why getting rid of all that disempowering self-talk and and replacing it with the knowledge that you WILL have all that you want is so important.

You got this. You have the power to make things happen, so stop talking yourself out of your dreams!

how to be successful



  1. Inspiring and very true. I think I need to pay attention to what I tell myself more! Thanks for the reminder :)

  2. my brain chatter mixes about 5 different languages, challenging!!

  3. Wow, this is very inspiring. I just discovered your blog and you are able to write it so clearly that it actually lands.

    I’m off to do great things now :-)


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